Saturday, 28 June 2008

Enough is enough...

I have just smoked the last joint out of the henry I bought on friday night. It was very nice too. All bud, nothing on it (GRIT!) and I am suitably stoned. In fact, it's the fifth joint I have had since I woke up at 10am.

I can't tell you my name, there are people that I would like to keep my weed addiction from, but I can say that I have just about had enough of being stoned. I want to feel normal again.

My numerous failed attempts at giving up weed before now have consisted of me pacing around the house after 6 hours looking for crumbs and bits of weed "I swear I left a bit there?", not finding any, going to get an henry and then telling myself the lie I already know is a lie "This is the last one. Then it's time to stop.". It's like a bloody merry-go-round. And I want to get off.

I'm 28 years old, male, attractive and have two lovely children. I also have a physically + emotionally beautiful partner. They are the purest things in my life and I know that nothing else matters as long as I have them.

So why do I keep on making promises that I can't keep? Why do I find it so god damn hard to stop smoking weed when I have all that?

I want this blog to act as an online diary of my progress both for myself and anyone else wishing to give up smoking weed and actually start putting 100% into real life again. It would be nice if we could get a little 'Lets give up weed' community going?

Being a bloke, I have never found expressing myself verbally an easy thing to do.
Being anonymous means I do not have to worry about 'my reputation'. I think this will help lots of us as in order to give up weed, we need to find out why we use it as a crutch in the first place. Many of us have had troubled pasts, I know I have. I have recently become very aware of childhood influences having a massive contribution toward my adult state of mind and would like to discuss this. Maybe we could try and point out things to one another that might just help to put things in perspective and help us on our long and for some, very painful journeys?

That said, I stand up and say "I have had enough of putting 20% into life. Here's my 100%..."
With me????