Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Stop smoking weed: DAY 2

It's now Wednesday the 2nd and I have relapsed.

Last night I had a bit of a fall out with the misses. I used this as an opportunity to get some weed and get stoned for the first time in almost 4 days. The longest time i've gone without smoking weed in 16 years.

I must say though, I could have left it there without touching it as the 'love' I had for weed smoking has definitely diminished. The THC levels in my body have depleted (a bit!) and I feel like I can achieve a lot more now. Time management skills have improved and I don't keep finding myself standing in a room thinking "What the F+?~ am I even looking for anyway?". That's an hour saved every day. I lost months to that shit man........

Digressing somewhat, the second day of my giving up went very well. No clucking for a joint, no moodiness and to be honest, I thought to myself i'd cracked it. Ridiculous, I know, But I felt very positive that It would carry on being that easy.

Then came day two without smoking weed. Woke up with a banging headache after one of the strangest dreams i've ever had before.

As soon as I got up I felt jittery and agitated and could see myself being a little snappy and a bit moody so decided to get out of the house and try to focus on my mission to stop smoking weed by going fishing. Not something I do much, but in a naturalistic kind of way, it's very peaceful experience. The whole world just kind of dissapears for a few hours giving you the opportunity to use your thinking time a little better....
Caught some good fish too.... (Anyone care??)

I came home with renewed enthusiasm to stop smoking weed for good that night. The headaches were, however, still there. It's like someone has placed a big bit of wood in the front half of my head. I never slept a wink that night and my brain felt like a smouldering circuit-board when day three started.

I must say ,at this point, that I believe everyone has the potential to stop smoking weed or to beat any other addiction they mave have providing that they stay focused and really want to achieve their goal. Much as in life itself. Still that's another debate, isn't it?

So, were at day 4/5 now. I bought an henry last night and am smoking it now. I feel stupid for getting it in the first place but am reluctant to just throw away a perfectly good bit of Harry. Makes a change to get a decent bit without any shit on it!

This may sound like a kop-out but I feel as though I have done the hardest part by stopping for 4 days. As I said before, the THC levels in my body have been the lowest they've been in years. Does that mean that I will be able to smoke this bag of weed without it building up in me enough to make me mentally/physically addicted to smoking weed again?? I think it does.

Any thoughts???


p.s to the guy that left a comment on my first post, I checked out the link you gave for the Canabbis Coach. Looks good. Could you tell us some more about it please? Is it worth the money?

Saturday, 28 June 2008

Enough is enough...

I have just smoked the last joint out of the henry I bought on friday night. It was very nice too. All bud, nothing on it (GRIT!) and I am suitably stoned. In fact, it's the fifth joint I have had since I woke up at 10am.

I can't tell you my name, there are people that I would like to keep my weed addiction from, but I can say that I have just about had enough of being stoned. I want to feel normal again.

My numerous failed attempts at giving up weed before now have consisted of me pacing around the house after 6 hours looking for crumbs and bits of weed "I swear I left a bit there?", not finding any, going to get an henry and then telling myself the lie I already know is a lie "This is the last one. Then it's time to stop.". It's like a bloody merry-go-round. And I want to get off.

I'm 28 years old, male, attractive and have two lovely children. I also have a physically + emotionally beautiful partner. They are the purest things in my life and I know that nothing else matters as long as I have them.

So why do I keep on making promises that I can't keep? Why do I find it so god damn hard to stop smoking weed when I have all that?

I want this blog to act as an online diary of my progress both for myself and anyone else wishing to give up smoking weed and actually start putting 100% into real life again. It would be nice if we could get a little 'Lets give up weed' community going?

Being a bloke, I have never found expressing myself verbally an easy thing to do.
Being anonymous means I do not have to worry about 'my reputation'. I think this will help lots of us as in order to give up weed, we need to find out why we use it as a crutch in the first place. Many of us have had troubled pasts, I know I have. I have recently become very aware of childhood influences having a massive contribution toward my adult state of mind and would like to discuss this. Maybe we could try and point out things to one another that might just help to put things in perspective and help us on our long and for some, very painful journeys?

That said, I stand up and say "I have had enough of putting 20% into life. Here's my 100%..."
With me????